One of the Web sites I administer has me down in the dumps. A forum participant who has always gotten on my nerves made inappropriate, stupid remarks about one of my friends (a friend in the forums and in real life). I’ve always had an aversion to this forum participant. She’s abrasive and self-righteous and usually wrong. She’s the type of person I should ignore, the type I usually do ignore. Having her in the forums has made me not want to be there myself, and that’s most bothersome. What’s more, it turns out that I’m fiercely loyal to — very territorial about — the people I value. I’m fair about my loyalty, though. If someone calls down a friend with good reason, I’m behind the accuser (this has gotten me in trouble with friends who value preference over justice). But if I see injustice, I’m quick to leap to my friend’s defense and, apparently, to spout vitriol. There was another case recently in which one respected member of a discussion list I participate in tossed unfair, rude accusations at another participant I very much admire. I leapt to the second participant’s defense, insulting the first guy in the process. In the more recent forum debacle, I wrote a very harsh post aimed at the offending participant. I later went back and deleted it, but not before she (and probably a couple of others) had a chance to read it.

It’s not that I was especially ashamed of what I wrote but that what I wrote was inappropriate for a public forum, especially one I’m an administrator of. So but she saw it (or was told about it)